Gear You Can Actually Afford | Uppgrader

Sunbeam Donut Maker

uppgrade — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 00:56:00 +0000

[$30] If nothing else, we Americans support our economy through our over-consumption of indescribably unhealthy foods… and now you can support it a little more. The Sunbeam Donut Maker is the greatest thing ever since the discovery of bacon, and equally unhealthy for you. Just imagine waking up every day and baking yourself five tasty morsels before collapsing on the floor and begging your dog to call 911. JUST IMAGINE IT!

Beer Can Track Lighting

uppgrade — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 12:11:27 +0000

[$87] What’s that? You say you’re looking for more unusual home lighting solutions? Well here then, have some Beer Can Track Lighting. Each of these Beer Can sets is made to order and ready in a couple of weeks. Requires a 3 wire system for easy grounding and/or not lighting your house on fire.

Octopussy Floor Lamp

uppgrade — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 11:48:08 +0000

[TBA] Have you ever wanted a floor lamp that references James Bond AND scares the ever-loving piss out of you when you try to find the bathroom at 3 AM, because here it is! It’s the Octopussy Floor Lamp, and it’s beautiful and terrifying. Not sure what the production timeline is on this piece, but we do know it’s got one main lamp and three smaller LED tentacles. Cool incarnate.

Modular Shower Station

uppgrade — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 00:43:47 +0000

[$70] Not that we have the energy in the morning to sort out all the bells and whistles on a Modular Shower Station, but as far as shower accessories go, it still looks cool as shit. ~~Not that shit is cool. It’s more of a lukewarm. Not that we would know.~~ The Modular Shower Station has four separate shelves with specialized holders for your shampoo, shaving razor, soap, sponges, etc. It’s got everything you need to scrub off all of last night’s sin.

Bottle Lock

uppgrade — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 11:54:36 +0000

[$20] You paid a lot of money for that bottle of aged bourbon, and you’ll be damned if you’re going to let your swarthy little roommate guzzle it while you’re at work. Do yourself a favor and invest in peace of mind with a Bottle Lock – pretty much the only thing that will keep prying lips off your hooch without breaking the bottle. We literally have no idea how the Bottle Lock works – I mean, no idea what-so-ever. But it does work and that’s what matters.

RC Armored Drink Carrier

uppgrade — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 16:09:02 +0000

[$100] They call is the Armored RC Drink Carrier, but we’re going to call it the prank drink carrier from hell. Yeah sure, it can bring you a drink. It can also spray you in the face with pool water at the hands of one of your a-hole friends. Oh, and when it’s not carrying drinks, the RC Drink Carrier’s wheels retract so it can cruise around a swimming pool with the sole purpose of spraying water at people. Awesome.

DC Pool LE

uppgrade — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 16:04:06 +0000

[$55] The DC Pool LE offers a lit bit of style that’s good in any weather conditions. The super ventilated exterior means your feetsies will stay cool in blistering heat, and the material composition itself is all quick-drying, water-resistant material so you’ll be dry in the rain. Available in orange, blue, gray, and black.

Rosle Pizza Wheel

uppgrade — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:58:20 +0000

[$35] We never put much thought into pizza wheels but thank gravy someone is. The Rosle Pizza Wheel is a certifiable piece of modern art. This oversized cutter works on anything flat and doughy, and cuts faster, better, and more comfortably than your average pie slicer. Plus it makes you look like a pro.

Sebastian Slim Wallet

uppgrade — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:54:01 +0000

[$60] No one wants a fat tumor of a wallet sticking out of their back pocket, so cut the bullshit and saddle up with a Sebastian Slim Wallet from Wheelmen & Co. Made with gorgeous Honey top grain leather and waxed canvas, good old Sebastian can fit six cards and a stack of cash for your shopping pleasure.

iCufflinks

uppgrade — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 13:40:38 +0000

[$128] No they don’t actually pair up to your iGadget, but iCufflinks are still the bees knees for stylish tech dweebs. These machined aluminum cufflinks are crafted to look just like the power button on your Apple device, plus they’ve got a tiny pulsating LED light inside to really sell the look. Fabulously nerdy. Want.

Wool Stones

uppgrade — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 05:01:50 +0000

[$300+] For the discerning rock lover, we humbly present Wool Stones. They’re essentially giant throw pillows, but through some clever design work they look just like smooth stones. Wool Stones were designed and produced in South Africa. They give your crib a distinct natural feeling while also being surprisingly comfortable.

Eau de Lacoste Olympic Edition

uppgrade — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 13:49:30 +0000

[$70] We’re not sure if Lacoste is really in the Olympic spirit, or if they just know how to exploit the public, but either way we’re fans of their Eau de Lacoste Beauty of the Game Edition. It smells just like the original lady charmer, but it sports an international themed package. Slap a higher price tag on it and you’ve got yourself gold.

iPhone Scuba Suit

uppgrade — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:26:40 +0000

[$60] If we’re being honest, your entire life is probably on your iPhone, so do you really want to trust an underwater case with your precious everything? Yes, yes you do, as long as it’s the iPhone Scuba Suit. The Scuba Suit lets you take pictures at depths up to 15 feet with no fear of screwing your phone to hell. It’s Gel screen allows you to manipulate the screen with no problems, so technically you can play NBA Jams on your iPhone in the middle of the Atlantic if you want. Think of the activities!

Beer Awesomeness

uppgrade — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 03:16:28 +0000

[$10] As if you need another reason to guzzle a pint of your favorite brew. Beer Awesomeness is the bible for beer bros. It’s got every little bit of info you need to do the perfect pour, crush a can on your face, play about a gazillion drinking games, and even brew your own batch.

Arnette Dibs

uppgrade — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 12:11:54 +0000

[$90] Picking up a pair of Arnette Dibs is almost like picking up two pairs of shades. They’re like a stylized Wayfarer, with an extra set of colorful arms for when you’re feeling fresh. Complete with polycarb lenses and five different colorways. Sorry, no Polarization available (that we’re aware of).